Turning a Blind Mind - An Aphantasiac's Journey
by megers67
Summary: While trying to set up Eri's new bedroom, Shouta and Hizashi discover something they've missed for the last 15 years. (Cross-posted from AO3 where it is a series of one-shots. Here they are multiple chapters of a single work)
1. Turning a Blind Mind

It had been a long day and they were _both _getting frustrated.

Eri's birthday was coming up and now that she was living with Yamada Hizashi and Aizawa Shouta, it was time she got a proper room. When she first came to them, they'd been too busy in the aftermath of her rescue to have anything set up. Besides, they didn't know if she was going to be with them for good or just on a temporary basis. Well, they got word that they were going to be officially fostering the small child and after at least six months it would be more official than that. So the two heroes thought they'd make it a big to-do since she likely never celebrated a birthday before.

Though Shouta wished it was like… a week later. A week later would put it in the middle of winter break and they'd be able to actually enjoy themselves as a family. But no, it was right in the middle of final exams. With the timing of everything, it meant that the two hapless men had a single day to get everything done. Luckily Mirio offered to take Eri to the zoo and just out of the house all day so they could maximize the time they had, but they still had only one day.

Fantastic.

As it was, it was about mid-afternoon and they were taking a much-needed break. Well, Shouta was. Hizashi had too much energy to take breaks. Somehow with their good teamwork, pre-planning, and work ethic, they were actually ahead of schedule. All of the furniture had been put together and plastered in cat stickers. The furniture was strewn all over the place since they had simply shoved it to the side to make room as they went on to the next piece. So they just needed to arrange them in the space, move Eri's things back into the room from where they were currently sitting out in the hall, and put those little finishing touches that really would make the space feel like a home for her.

Eraser sat in the middle of the floor in his favorite pink sweatpants almost in a daze as his husband buzzed about him.

"... over here and then we could put the bed in this corner. Or we could keep the bed against the wall with the drawers over on that side of the room and the mirror hanging on this wall with the playset Nemuri got her. Or-"

The blond stopped as he realized that Shou was practically counting sheep. With a sigh, he lightly tapped the tired man on the shoulder. "Hey, I know we've been at this for hours, but once we've got this figured out, it's just a matter of pushing through brute force. We got this. I just need your help deciding where to put what."

Shouta groaned and ran his hand through his hair that was only barely tied anymore. "I'm sure she'll love whatever you come up with."

"Well _naturally _," Hizashi replied with a kind of smugness that he hoped would get his husband to smile a bit. "But I can't decide what configuration I want to go with. Here, let me run through the options with you again and you tell me which one you like best."

Aizawa knew there was no arguing out of this. Besides, logically it was best if he complied. They'd get done sooner and they could rest sooner. He rubbed his tired face with his hands a few times before standing. "Alright, alright. Walk me through it."

"Okay so I've narrowed it down to three options." He was using his Announcer Mic voice, ostensibly to make it a little more lively. In itself it didn't do much for Shouta, but the fact that the Voice Hero was really trying was enough.

"So option one, we put the desk up against the window here with the bookshelf next to it in this corner. The bed would go along the far wall over here." As the energetic man spoke, he danced around the furniture strewn about the place to indicate where things would go.

Aizawa really tried following everything. He really did, but he wasn't successful. The man must have had a blank look on his face because Hizashi interrupted himself again.

"Shou, you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine I just… I'm just having trouble seeing it." All he could see was the mess before him. He just couldn't get past it. The mess. Yes. That had to be it. "It's too cluttered in here with everything all over the place. Maybe if we try out the arrangements, we can see if we like it."

Hizashi fully turned toward him, taken aback at the suggestion. "Seriously? That would mean moving all of this furniture at least three or four times. It would just exhaust us and take up way too much time. Just make a mental note of where everything is going and this will be a lot faster."

"That's what I'm trying, but I don't understand how that's supposed to help me figure out what this will look like all together."

Now the blond's face moved to utter confusion. "What?"

"I mean, I know that the bed is left, the desk at the window, and the bookshelf in the corner, but I don't know how to bring it all together."

"What are you talking about, Shou? Just remember that picture."

"What picture?"

"The one you literally just described to me." Hizashi folded his arms, trying not to look like he was starting to get annoyed. Sure, Shouta could be belligerent when he didn't want to do something but he'd expected a little better of him on this project.

Even though Hizashi was trying not to look annoyed, Shouta could see it plain as day. Knowing someone for 15 years does that. Now _he _was getting annoyed because it wasn't like he was trying to make things difficult here. "I wasn't describing some picture, 'Zashi. It was just my word list."

"Why are you making a word list to think about this? Just picture it."

"Why do you keep using that metaphor?"

The blond's annoyance immediately shifted to bewilderment. That was absolutely not what he expected as a response. "What metaphor?"

"Or analogy or figure of speech or whatever it is!" Aizawa was getting a bit more frustrated now. What was Hizashi doing? Doesn't he know he's speaking gibberish? "You keep talking about some picture metaphor."

Why was Shouta talking about it this figuratively? It was like he really couldn't see a picture in his mind or something.

That's when it clicked and Hizashi's whole demeanor softened. Was something like that even possible? He had to make sure. "Wait Shou…. Hold on. Can you humor me for just a sec? I need to confirm something."

Seeing his husband's whole attitude change made the raven-haired man pause himself. Shit. Did he do something wrong? "'Zashi, I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm just tired."

"I know, I know. Let's just sit for a little while." Hizashi hobbled around the random furniture and found enough space for them both to sit, Shouta relented and followed.

"Okay Shou, let's both close our eyes. Can you tell me what you see?"

"I don't see anything."

"Nothing at all?"

"Right."

"Hmm… How about… try imagining a tree right in front of you. Its roots are reaching deep into the ground beneath you. It's an old tree, gnarly and full of knots. The trunk is so big there's no way your arms can wrap around it. But the real beauty is in the leaves. They're shifting radiant colors. At first you think it's some trick of the light, but one floats to the ground in front of you and you see it melt from one color to the next in a dazzling display-"

"Hizashi, what are you talking about?"

"Are you telling me that you still don't see anything?"

"Of course not! It's not like anyone can see anything with their eyes closed. That's not something we can do."

Yup. There it was. Hizashi paused for a moment before he responded quietly. "You mean it's not something _you _can do."

Shouta opened his eyes and just stared at his husband for a while as he slowly worked through his thoughts. "Zashi… are you trying to tell me that you _can_?"

Hizashi just nodded. "And always have."

"Then I guess I never… have." Aizawa turned his head away like his mind wasn't being totally fucked right now. "I… I always thought it was just a saying. 'Imagine this,' 'picture that.' They're not just sayings? People can actually see those things like they were real pictures in front of your real eyes? What's that like?"

"Pretty much, yeah." How was he going to explain this? "I guess some people are better than others? Not so much from skill, but it'd be like cameras. Some people have top-notch cameras with crazy lenses. I'm more of a 'family's first digital camera' kind of guy. Pretty good and serviceable, but not lifelike in full detail. How do things work for you?"

"I don't know. I never really thought about it before. I guess it's like… I don't remember things as they were but on how I responded to them. What I thought or felt about something or some observation."

"And by 'observation' you mean like a comment or something?"

"Yeah. You know that weird bookshop I keep trying to tell you about? I literally can't remember anything about that place except for the fact that every time I pass it, I think "Huh that's weird" and go on with my day. I have no idea why."

"Huh." Yamada leaned into his husband, messing up the perfect blond bun he'd been sporting the whole day. This was all just as mind-blowing to him as it must have been for Shouta. He suddenly came to the realization that something he thought was a basic function of everyone's lives wasn't necessarily something he really shared with everyone. What else was he taking for granted?

"Shit, we need to get a move on. They'll be back in a couple of hours."

Hizashi echoed the expletive and got up, helping Shou to his feet as well. "So I guess now that we have _that _sorted, we know why we had a communication break down. We still need to figure out an arrangement for this room. What can I do to make all of this something you can work with?"

The man scratched his head in thought. "I always try to make them visible in some way. As in something my eyes can see. It doesn't even need to be that good, just something to get an understanding of size and shape."

Then came a genuine smile from Mic as a solution dawned on him. "I got an idea!" He went to the corner where they'd been keeping basic supplies they never actually needed. Things like extra tools, rejected sticker sheets, and lots of tape. The man emerged victorious with three rolls of tape.

"Okay, so the blue painter's tape will be option one, the black electrical tape option two, and the third will be that awful neon green duct tape you got last year when we ran out of the normal silver." The whole process took only a few minutes. All of the outlines were down and they could easily compare all of the configurations with each other.

Hizashi patiently watched his husband walk through everything. Now that he knew Shouta couldn't actually see anything in his mind, he paid extra attention to the thought process here. He noticed the man making small gestures to himself and turning every so often as if to see the room from different vantage points. It was strange until he got to one of the proposed play corners and crouched down, looking at the door.

"Hey 'Zashi. You don't think she'd mind if we can see her playing from the hallway, right? I mean, I know it'd make me feel better but I don't know if she'd feel weird that we can just watch her like that."

The blond understood now. It wasn't just the furniture that Shouta couldn't see, but also how Eri might use it. Since they couldn't approximate _that_ in tape, he had to make it real some other way. Embodying it himself. He couldn't see it, but he could replicate the experience of it. There was definitely going to be a lot of googling about all of this as soon as they got a chance. It was highly fascinating to realize just how differently their minds operated.

"I think she'd be fine with it. It might actually make it easier for her to invite us in."

"In that case, I think option two might be the best."

"Let's get things moving then!" Hizashi was already pulling off the tape from the rejected proposals. "I think we might actually pull this off if we hustle."


	2. Blind Spot

_Aphantasia _. That was the word that Aizawa Shouta was staring at on the laptop screen on the coffee table in front of where he sat cross-legged on the couch. He wasn't sure how he felt knowing there was a word for it. To be fair, before yesterday, he didn't know it was even a thing let alone a thing with a name. The man had lived his whole life not knowing that the ability to actually see images in his mind was even possible. But now he not only knew it was possible, but was actually normal. His reality wasn't. It was considered a neurological condition.

He wasn't sure how he felt about that. The hero, due to his line of work was no stranger to conditions. Medical ones that came from injuries or overusing his quirk as well as psychological ones like PTSD. They were occupational hazards and it would be impossible to be a professional hero and not come out of it unscathed. He knew that when he took the responsibility of public safety on his shoulders. But this was different. It was something that he'd apparently always had. To be honest, he didn't know how he felt about that distinction.

Just then, Shouta felt a presence nearby. He leaned back and looked up just as his husband, Yamada Hizashi, bent over him from behind the couch, having put Eri to bed already. His long, blond hair was pulled back away from his face in a loose bun like it usually was when they were home.

"How's the research going, Shou?"

The seated man sighed and looked back down at the computer screen. "I haven't really found much else since you last checked in."

Hizashi responded by carefully wrapping his arms around Shouta's neck, resting his chin atop his head. "Not much out there, huh? I'm sorry, babe."

"Well, it's not like it's a very understood or studied thing yet. There aren't many people talking about it."

The blond hummed. "I bet it's a lot to take in. How are you feeling?"

"I don't know," the raven-haired man huffed. "I know I don't exactly talk about my feelings a lot but this time… I really don't know."

Hizashi not-so-gracefully hopped over the back of the couch to settle himself down next to his partner. "Are you leaning more positive or negative?" He prompted, hoping that talking things out might help Shouta work through his thoughts.

Shouta wasn't sure what to really say. He didn't know what he actually thought or felt about everything, except that he was overwhelmed. Probably sensing his conflict, Hizashi reached over to close the laptop and coaxed him to lay his head in his lap. Shouta liked the feeling of fingers through his hair and found it soothing when his husband began doing it now, carefully brushing out the tangles. He let himself enjoy the moment before he spoke.

"I haven't seen much that's all that positive. Maybe I just haven't gone through the forums enough, but most of it's either people like me who just discovered aphantasia or describing the difficulties they realize they have because of it. There are some that or more neutral that just describe their own thinking process but…." He trailed off as even he wasn't sure himself where he was going with this train of thought.

"But you're having trouble confronting the idea that what you have may be something like a disability?" Hizashi asked quietly. There was a little bit of hurt in his voice.

It made Shouta wince. His husband was hard of hearing and very nearly completely deaf. Having a quirk that gave you the power to to use your own voice as a weapon wasn't entirely healthy on the ears. Since Hizashi hadn't been entirely in control of it in his childhood, he'd had to get hearing aids by the time he turned ten and wore them ever since. The last thing that Shouta had wanted to do was to imply that it was a disability. It absolutely wasn't, but the media always made an uncomfortably big deal about it as if it was. He felt awful even tangentially making that connection.

"'Zashi… I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

"No, I know Shou, I know. It's okay. I know you didn't mean it that way. I've had over 20 years to get used to my hearing. I have had time to figure out my own relationship with it but you're still on day one. Give yourself time. I also have a huge, established, global community to turn to if I need them. Yours has only just begun. And if it's only been a couple of years since people have been talking about it, then nobody has lived with this revelation for very long either. It's a complicated feeling that doesn't just go away in just a day. _Give yourself time_."

"Okay, okay." Shouta knew that Hizashi was right. As he pretty much always was.

"If it makes you feel any better, you have lived with this your whole life and have a lifetime's worth of coping mechanisms that have worked just fine for you so far. You just never knew it before. You'll be just fine, babe."

"But I also never knew I was _missing _anything before."

Hizashi wasn't sure how to respond for once and began braiding his partner's dark hair to make up for it. It must have been rough. One moment you think you're just like everyone else, then the next you learn that you're not. You're incomplete. You're missing a function that is so basic to everyone else's experience that nobody even talks about it. They just assume, and because it doesn't occur to you to think any different, you assume too. Until you learn otherwise.

Sure, Hizashi was without hearing, but at least that was something that he knew about the moment he no longer had his hearing. Shouta was basically blindsided as a 31 year-old. He just needed to understand that there was nothing to be ashamed of. He wasn't suddenly lesser. He's still the exact same Shouta he's always been. A word shouldn't change that.

He finally broke the silence. "Well, there are some things about it worth missing out on."

"Hm?" Shouta had almost started to doze off with the fingers running through his hair like a massage.

"Well, you like to multitask by going over reports during breakfast, but I told you to stop reading them out loud."

Shouta turned his head to look up at the blond, eyebrow raised. "Yes?"

"Well, it's because those crime scene descriptions can get really gorey. That's especially true for the crimes you get involved in as an underground hero. Whenever you read those out loud, I can't help but reconstruct it in my mind and sometimes, but not every time, it's so gross that I just completely lose my appetite." He made a face for emphasis. "But you're never even phased, are you?"

"I guess not." He'd never thought of that before. Honestly, he just thought that he had been a jaded and emotionless husk. Maybe that was still partly true, but perhaps not the entire reason. He couldn't pass up the opportunity to make a jab at his partner. "I just thought you were being dramatic."

A theatrically fake gasp soon followed. "Me? _Dramatic _?! Shou, how could you accuse _me _of such a thing?"

"I just call it as I see it," the tired man replied in his usual deadpan delivery.

"You know, that could be another benefit for you."

"What?"

"Since you can't make mental images, you literally can only see things as they are. Nothing more, nothing less. Your mind doesn't try to fill in the blanks. At least not visually. Interpretation of events is a separate action which allows you to follow things through more logically."

"Does that mean you're finally admitting that you think I'm a better investigator than you?" Shouta couldn't help but smirk as he teased his partner.

Hizashi huffed and pulled out his hair tie letting his long, blond hair dangle right into Shouta's face. This sent the supine man sputtering as he waved his hands to swat the mass of hair away. He finally chose to just stand up instead to escape his doom.

"'Zashi, my life insurance policy doesn't name you the beneficiary in the case of matricide," he muttered as he pulled a stray strand from his mouth.

"Damn, I'll just have to be more subtle next time." He let the moment hang for a bit, the mood significantly lighter than it had been moments before. "Feeling better, Shou?"

"Yeah…." The answer came after a brief hesitation. "I mean, I'm still conflicted about a lot of things and I still don't really know how I think about it but I think I do feel… better."

"Good. I don't like going to bed with negativity in the air." Hizashi stood and offered a hand to his husband. "Come on, we've got an early day tomorrow. Finals, remember?"

Shouta flopped back down, face-first, onto the couch with a groan. "Ugh, do I have to? We're not _in _school anymore."

"Unfortunately, as teachers, we have an obligation. Just think of that end-of-semester faculty party. Just finish out the week and we can drink it all away."

The raven-haired man's voice was muffled by the couch. "Promise?"

"It's a promise, Shou." His partner couldn't help but chuckle. Grabbing the other man's arm he began to not-so-subtly pull him off. "Don't think I won't lug you all the way to our room, babe."

Shouta knew he wasn't kidding. He's done it before. He let the moment drag on until the last second. Just before he could crash to the floor, he caught himself with his free arm and fully stood. He didn't make a move to withdraw his arm from Hizashi's grasp and instead let himself be coaxed to bed.


	3. No Eye for Design

By the time that Yamada Hizashi got home from the radio station that night, it was late enough that Eri had already been put to bed a few hours ago. That meant that by now, his partner Aizawa Shouta, would be taking advantage of the silence to grade papers. Sure enough, when he rounded the corner, he saw the darker-haired man at the dining table with papers strewn about him, a familiar pair of goggles buried in the pile. But on closer inspection, they were crayon drawings.

"Looks like you had a busy evening."

The dark-haired man chuckled and sifted through the drawings. "Miss Matsumodo had Eri's class draw themselves as pro heroes today. Pretty clever way to subtly encourage them to see their quirks in a positive light." It was an important lesson for children in a quirk therapy program. Eri had been so traumatized over the destructive nature of her quirk and understandably so considering all she had been through. Even with Shouta and Hizashi's guidance, she was still hesitant to see how it can help others. Little activities like this go a long way towards slowly reversing that.

After a few moments of searching, Shouta produced the original page to Hizashi. The drawing was about what he expected. It was as if the small child had tried to incorporate every color in the crayon box with gleeful disregard for the concept of clashing combinations. Other than the blinding array of color, or potentially because of that, it was hard to distinguish much design other than the fact that it was vaguely humanoid in shape. He could see what might be an out-of-place, plain, red cape to the casual observer but it made perfect sense to him. Ever since her rescue, Eri had been using the red Lemillion cape as a sort of security blanket. The teenager was kind enough to let the poor girl keep it and have a new one made for himself. Considering that it had to be specially made to function with his quirk, it wasn't easy or cheap. Hizashi knew that Mirio would be touched that Eri would choose to honor him like that and made a mental note to try to get a copy of the drawing to him in some way.

The blond couldn't help but smile at the name that the girl's teacher had written in the corner for her. "Princess Power? Has a nice ring to it. Though I see that she hasn't really incorporated her horn at all."

"Yeah, I think we still have some self-image issues to work through."

"Is that what all of this is?" the Voice Hero asked as he gestured to the multitude of other drawings on the table.

"Partly. It all kind of led into a discussion about _our_ costumes. Apparently she's under the firm belief that we need more color. A lot more. She also asked why you have spikes on yours and frankly, I didn't have an answer for her."

Hizashi laughed. "What can I say? I like the look! I was definitely going with a punk rock when I first designed it and that aesthetic stuck. And they've come in handy when I've had to break a window once or twice." He made sharp jabbing movement with his elbow to emphasize his point.

Shouta looked amused as his partner took an empty seat at the table. "What would you say that my aesthetic is? For Eraserhead," he added before the other man could even open his mouth. "I already know not to get you started on day-to-day fashion choices."

"Honestly? It reminds me of a ninja, but more the American stereotype for one. What were you going for?"

"See, that's the thing." The dark-haired man took a piece of paper and a black crayon from the box. "I didn't really have any particular look that I was going for. All I knew was that I vaguely wanted it dark. I just drew an outline all around the template they gave us and I just colored it in in black."

He demonstrated what he was talking about as he spoke, just a stick figure with an additional black outline, excluding the hands and neck, that he then filled in. "After that it was just a belt so I could carry supplies. I didn't have my binding cloth yet since it was right after I was approved to enter the hero program. The goggles came a little later too since I had that support student make them for me. I always forget her name."

"I think it was Kimura?" Hizashi picked up the goggles contemplatively, turning them over in his hands. "Apparently you gave her absolutely nothing to go off of and since she knew you and I were friends, she asked me for input. She tried really hard to impress you since she had a major crush on you."

It was clear that that possibility hadn't ever crossed his mind if the mildly surprised look on Shouta's expression was anything to go by. Hizashi for one, was entirely too amused. "You know, Shou, for all of tour observational prowess, you can be pretty clueless!"

That earned him a handful of crayons to the face, though there was no real malice behind it. They took a moment to settle before tidying up the drawings on the table. Naturally, they took longer than normal as they were admiring the artwork.

"She really has me in pink in most of these," Shouta commented.

"In her defense, you wear those pink sweatpants a _lot_."

"They're comfortable."

"All sweatpants are comfortable, babe."

"True, but the pinks ones are worn in just the right way."

"Uh huh. _Sure_ they are."

A long pause ensued. Hizashi was about to say something, but his partner beat him to it.

"I wonder if I missed out on an opportunity."

"Hm?" The blond looked up from a drawing of himself in a bright yellow suit with rainbow stripes.

"With this," Shouta gestured to his crude recreation of his original costume design. "At the time, they were kind of rushing me through the process anyway so I could be added to the program as soon as possible. But I also just didn't care what I looked like. Looking back, I think at least part of it was because I actually couldn't see myself in anything, so why bother?"

"Your aphantasia?"

"Yeah." He paused for a moment in thought "'Zashi, you gave input to Kimura about my goggles. If I had known you a little sooner, enough for you to help me with _this_, what would you have suggested?"

"If I designed your Eraserhead costume? Me as a _fifteen year-old_? Hmmm."

The man sat back in his chair as the wheels turned in his mind. At one point, he even tilted his chair back to balance on the back two legs, hooking his knees under the table to prevent himself from toppling over entirely. Shouta didn't see him doing that very often these days, but it was a regular sight back in the day. He seemed to come up with something and set his chair back down to grab some crayons. Shouta took the opportunity to get some much-needed cleaning done, but when he finished, he found that Hizashi was still working so he moved onto grading papers.

After what felt like ages, the blond finally announced that he was ready to show his husband the fruits of his labor. "Okay so I have a few different ones to show you."

Shouta grimaced, instantly regretting what he himself had proposed. However, it was far too late to back out now and let Hizashi get on with it. "Alright, show me."

"Okay, so keep in mind that _you _asked if I had designed it at the time we met. Also I'm not an artist so I'll have to explain what you're looking at." That was an understatement because what was on paper looked like an utter mess. "I had to separate out some of the pieces so you can even see some of it since it's mostly black."

Aizawa squinted as he took a closer look at the drawing. "Is that a trenchcoat?"

"Yeah! So, back in the day, I was pretty into 80s alternative fashion and I incorporated it into my hero costume because I thought it looked cool. Because of that, if I helped design your costume, I might also have made it that way to match mine. But I figured that punk rock wouldn't fit you very well, but goth might. All black, heavy boots, trenchcoat, big teased hair, and your binding cloth instead of big dangling necklaces or chains."

"There's not a lot about it that's all that practical, is there?"

"Okay first of all, _rude_. Second, at fifteen, there wasn't a lot about _me _that was all that practical. Third, it's not _completely _impractical. The trenchcoat? Great for the rain and has lots of pockets for you to hold supplies. The boots are heavy enough not to wear out all that quickly and with the hair up, it's both out of your face _and _makes it harder to tell when you're using your quirk."

"It seems like I wouldn't be able to move around in that"

"Agility wasn't a huge priority for me. I'm still pretty slow and especially someone who isn't in a heavy weight class."

"The police would be fielding calls about the presence of some creep every time I went on patrol."

"Shou-"

"And the hair looks like a depressed palm tree-"

"Okay, okay!" Hizashi put up his hands defensively. "I knew you would hate it, but you asked what I would have said as a teenager. I figured you probably thought I was going for a more traditional hero costume anyway so I did one of those as well. More mobility than the other one." He pushed the second drawing forward. This one was also black, but not entirely. It was a tighter black bodysuit with yellow accent lines following the body up the arms and down the torso, ending with the insides of the legs. The boots, gloves, belt, and the support gear were also yellow. There was also a long cape.

The dark-haired man's expression meant that he at least hated it less than the previous one, but was still critical. "Capes aren't very common anymore because they get caught on things too easily. You only see it nowadays in heroes trying to tap into nostalgia, fight from a distance, or if they're too naive to know any better."

"Hey, I figured that if I was going traditional, I might as well go old-school. Good statement piece. For this one, it's black on the outside and yellow inside."

"That's a lot of yellow."

"Considering that's the only color besides black or grey on your current costume, I figured, I'd run with it."

"It would be difficult to hide with all of that color and since I'm an underground hero, that's a pretty important skill."

"True, but that's one of the advantages of the cape! You can just…." Hizashi held up his forearm in front of his face as if bringing an imaginary cape around himself. He got a few more crayons thrown at him as a result and he couldn't help but laugh. "You know neither of those were serious suggestions right?"

Shouta sighed. "I know. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't… missing out on anything. I know I'm an underground hero and so that means that I don't actually have to worry about how I look, but I've never thought about what could have been."

"Just because you can't make mental images?" The blond leaned closer and took his husband's hand. "Shou, you've been handling it just fine before you had a name to put to it. If there was anything important that needed to be changed about your costume that you haven't already determined from living and working in it, it would have been brought up by your agency's PR manager a long time ago. You're fine."

Aizawa gave a soft smile, the kind that was reserved for Hizashi and Eri and shown to nobody else. Nobody else needed to see it. They haven't done anything to truly earn it. "Thanks. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Do you really want me to answer that?"

The smile quickly fell into a more neutral expression. "No."

Hizashi beamed to make up for it as he scooted his chair closer so that they were sitting against each other. "I have one other page to show you if you were at all interested."

"Oh? Did you draw me in a cat costume or something?"

Oh _damn_, that was a way better idea! Too late for that now. "No, nothing like that. I actually have serious suggestions. Now, they're in a bunch of different colors, but that's only because I annihilated the black crayon making the other two drawings. These would be in black. They're actually just additional things to go with the costume you already have."

Shouta put his arm around his partner. "Alright, I'm listening."

"It's pretty much all about added protection," Hizashi started. "A bulletproof vest so you're not in as much risk of injury. Elbow pads and knee pads so you don't have to worry about bringing harm to yourself going all over the place, and of course a helmet."

"I understand where you're coming from here, 'Zashi, but those things also reduce my mobility. I don't have high strength or a quirk that does direct damage so I need to be able to rely on it."

"I know, but considering everything you have only just barely survived in the past year, I think it's at least worth considering."

"Mm." Well he had him there. He really did have some close calls last year and with All Might out of commission and his students growing stronger, he had a feeling like it was only the beginning. "Good point. What else do you have?"

Hizashi pointed to the main drawing on the page. "It's mostly about the helmet. For one thing, it will help protect your skull. That's a given. But I based this design off of a motorcycle helmet. Your whole face is shielded and while you can see out, enemies can't see in. No worries about particles in your eyes or those slits obstructing your vision. Also, because it's a helmet, it has the added bonus of keeping your hair out of sight. Not only can it not be grabbed, but it can't be used as a tell. Villains won't be able to know if you're using your quirk at all, let alone who it's directed towards."

The hair thing had been the subject of many discussions over the years. As illogical as it was, he kept his hair long and untethered. Unfortunately it telegraphed his quirk usage. Arguably it was his one costume choice that had no practical function. He just liked it that way.

"The helmet would also have some tech features. A built-in radio, filtration capabilities for smoke and other airborne particles, cameras and other recording devices to easily gather evidence, internal overlay displays like maps or database search, and gps tracking."

"And the kitchen sink."

"Look, if I'm having the chance to make a hypothetical support item for you, I'm absolutely going to include as many bells and whistles on it that I could possibly want. A completely normal motorcycle helmet would work too and at least would have the benefit of not needing power to function."

All of it made sense to Shouta and they were good points even if they weren't perfect. All of these safety features would impact his agility and he would have to seriously retrain his muscle memory to adapt. The helmet would also greatly impact his hearing, an important sense to have in the low-light scenarios he often found himself in. The low visibility would also be affected by the helmet's one-way visor. Even if the treatment only minimally impacted his sight, that could make all the difference. But none of these were valid enough reasons to dismiss everything out of hand. "I'll consider it. Really. I'm not just saying that."

"That's all I ask." The blond turned and leaned back against the other man. Were they on the couch, they'd be lying against each other. Unfortunately, they were in dining chairs and so the positioning was much more awkward. But neither complained. "Oh! Shou! Don't let me forget," he said before he got too settled in. "I need to get Eri more crayons. She doesn't have a useful black one anymore." He reached his hand backward to place the small stub of a crayon on the table, which Shouta then picked up himself.

"You really weren't exaggerating."

"It's not _my_ fault that your costume palette is monochrome."

When the dark-haired man didn't respond, Hizashi closed his eyes, shifting slightly in an attempt to get more comfortable in his husband's arms. It didn't last long because he felt a strange, repeated scraping against his forehead. It didn't hurt, but it was certainly unexpected. "Shou, what are you doing?" he asked without opening his eyes.

"Trying to see if a crayon will mark skin."

At that, the once-relaxed man spluttered, immediately starting to swat the other's hands from his face and sat up so quickly that he nearly fell out of the chair. He aggressively rubbed at temple while shooting a death glare at Shouta who, for his part sported a wide, shit-eating grin. He held up the crayon in one hand and a single finger to his lips with the other to remind him to keep quiet. Right. Eri was sleeping.

The Voice Hero huffed. "You're looking mighty pleased with yourself for someone sleeping on the couch tonight."


End file.
